I wish I knew the exact date of this photo. But my life, at that point, was a blur. Cash was very sick with dementia. I found myself in a barn - my own barn - surrounded by angry horses and what I knew in my gut was the wrong staff.
I had learned of a woman and her herd of "Healing Horses." I loaded up Cashlyn and headed to Maryland to meet them. What I remember most vividly is lying on a table, Cashlyn beside me on her own table, in a pasture. I heard horses' hooves. When I lifted my head to look, a herd of horses had encircled us. Something in me said, "Trust this." I laid my head back down, and . . . for the first time in a long time, I trusted. It was crazy.
I felt a horse's breath on my stomach. This horse searched my body, finally settling over my heart with her muzzle. She huddled there, like she was praying over me. I love color. But not red. As this mare hovered over me, I saw the most vivid, beautiful shade of red from behind my closed eyes. I get goose bumps remembering. These words came to me: "She's going to be OK Mama. Trust your instincts."
The "she" had to be Cashlyn. I was filled with worry about her. And the "trust your instincts" -- oh boy, I knew big changes were coming. Afterward, Cashlyn stopped me cold when she told me about her experience. "Mama, when that horse hovered over me, I wanted to look. But for some reason, I didn't. I just laid there and let this horse search my body. And I saw the brightest red. It almost hurt my eyes it was so bright. And it made me feel warm and so peaceful."
Sounds crazy, I know. But it happened. Just like that.
The photo above was taken after our healing session on the tables. The horses stayed near us as we talked. I sat down on a stump to journal about my experience. The horses encircled me again, continuing to send love and support.
Our host with the healing horses, Krystin Dennis, posted this photo on social media. And the naysayers seized upon it.
One of my staff members announced, while standing in my barn, something close to the following: "She's gone nuts. She's off 'communing' with horses. 'Listening to horses' and all that crazy."
Soon after, that employee and others no longer were employed by me.
It's been three years. And communing with horses is part of our daily routine at Cash Lovell Stables. This weekend, we are hosting a camp for adult horse lovers to learn to better communicate with and listen to our horses. At some point in the weekend, we will lie on our backs or sit in a chair beside our horses - and hope we see red!